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where do we go

After we die, I hope for reincarnation.
I was talking to my friend about what happens when we die.
He was drunk, so I thought it would be interesting to ask him. He said it would be stupid to assume anything happens, that nothing happens, that we reincarnate, that we can’t know until it happens.
I’ve spent so much of my life looking for that answer. Heard different answers from everybody. Believed a few other things. Christianity, spirituality, nothing.
Something made everything click for me in a way. We don’t know. I don’t know. I am not scared of death, I have dreamed it. I have begged for it and flirted with it a few times.
Maybe I just wanted to know what happens.
What do you feel?
How would it make the noise?
Would I even think about my family after the fact?
Would I constantly have that little voice in my head anymore? Would the bad decisions I made previously still linger in my mind?
Or would it all just stop?
I was born anew and started over
. Would there be a man with cryptic angels hanging over him, deouncing everything I've done to black and white, such as I have done to others in the past.
Would there be a feeling?
Would my past play in my brain, and I got to see the people that I have left, that have died, I would like to see you again.
Would there be a light that tells me what I learned in this life, and how I used my soul for the better?
I have lived so many years and learned so much about what it’s like to be alive.

The lesson of growing, the lesson of love, and the lesson of letting go.
Who am I to know anything?
Why do I have to know anything?
To be in control is to be crazy.
No one can control everything, so why do I have to?
If there is a God, he can’t do so.
So why do I expect myself to?
Nothing matters, and it is beautiful.
I know nothing.
I am just another piece of the universe. I think maybe that’s why there’s so much noise. There’s always been noise.
Since I was young, I would hear everything and worry about everything. Death, life, sadness, happiness.
I could do my best to make them stop.
I showed more love and gratitude before it got overbearing.
I can learn to play with the noise.
Instead of letting it control me, I can let it go in better ways. how do you give yourself that control?