One thing I have learned or have always known about myself is that I hate playing the “boys’” game. it's funny i call it that, when i was a top player. I don’t like the roster, I hate the feeling of having men and women on deck, and I don’t like playing dirty. Though so easily, I will slip back into it during downtime. The feeling of feeding our ego is so addictive that it will make you forget what love and feminism are.
I am not shaming,
I am not looking at anyone differently.
The more we give the lesson, the more we have for ourselves. The more we give the little bits of ourselves to people who aren’t feeding our connection, the more slowly it kills. It feels good in the moment, sure. Though what about when you’re alone? Today’s modern feminist is about hating men. That men have never done anything right, that men are violent, angry creatures. Though women are, so am I. The act of feminism has never been to put each other down, and I think we forget this in the world of today. We are meant to be equal, all humans are equal. Black, white, gay, straight, man, woman. Hell, the people I have learned love most from have been men. Good men. Just because we don’t feel something towards someone doesn’t make them a bad person.
Some people, yes, they’re terrible, they’re sexist, racist, etc. Those types of people shouldn’t be getting any of your energy. They must take a good, hard look at themselves before trying to get back out there.
Then there are the people who keep the roster and fill their egos. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person either.
It is what we have been taught.
We are searching for a bond that seems so effortless that we need someone to fill something in us that can’t be felt otherwise. We are more often than not, though, confusing lust for love. Keeping the roster and having the crew on deck.
Do you imagine each other on the other screen, sitting at home doing the same thing, the same screen phone lighting their face, and feeling sorry for yourselves? That this is what it has come to? We sit and wait for matches, to exchange a few words, add each other, and never speak again? We meet, have sex, and randomly see each other out and about?
The people we meet ask to add each other and snap pointless photos of each other. When did we lose all connection to each other?
Why do I crave that connection?
Everything around us tells us to feed our ego, the ads, the posts on our Instagram, and the ability to post selfies whenever. I look back on things when I was feeding it once more and realize how much love was gone from me.
Giving everything away only at the end to admit you knew better.
All we can do is sit in the silence, in the noise, and try to sort it out from beginning to end.
I sit in the solitude now, where I know I am supposed to be. I can’t let the anxiety of losing something or not gaining something take over my life anymore. I have gone through too many losses to keep learning the same lesson repeatedly. My lesson may not be the same as yours, which is okay. We are all on different journeys. i could not care less what other people do it is only my observation.
I am not growing slower for realizing it now, you are not growing faster by reading it. I am here to be here and have always been an oversharer.
I am not shaming,
I am not looking at anyone differently.
The more we give the lesson, the more we have for ourselves. The more we give the little bits of ourselves to people who aren’t feeding our connection, the more slowly it kills. It feels good in the moment, sure. Though what about when you’re alone? Today’s modern feminist is about hating men. That men have never done anything right, that men are violent, angry creatures. Though women are, so am I. The act of feminism has never been to put each other down, and I think we forget this in the world of today. We are meant to be equal, all humans are equal. Black, white, gay, straight, man, woman. Hell, the people I have learned love most from have been men. Good men. Just because we don’t feel something towards someone doesn’t make them a bad person.
Some people, yes, they’re terrible, they’re sexist, racist, etc. Those types of people shouldn’t be getting any of your energy. They must take a good, hard look at themselves before trying to get back out there.
Then there are the people who keep the roster and fill their egos. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person either.
It is what we have been taught.
We are searching for a bond that seems so effortless that we need someone to fill something in us that can’t be felt otherwise. We are more often than not, though, confusing lust for love. Keeping the roster and having the crew on deck.
Do you imagine each other on the other screen, sitting at home doing the same thing, the same screen phone lighting their face, and feeling sorry for yourselves? That this is what it has come to? We sit and wait for matches, to exchange a few words, add each other, and never speak again? We meet, have sex, and randomly see each other out and about?
The people we meet ask to add each other and snap pointless photos of each other. When did we lose all connection to each other?
Why do I crave that connection?
Everything around us tells us to feed our ego, the ads, the posts on our Instagram, and the ability to post selfies whenever. I look back on things when I was feeding it once more and realize how much love was gone from me.
Giving everything away only at the end to admit you knew better.
All we can do is sit in the silence, in the noise, and try to sort it out from beginning to end.
I sit in the solitude now, where I know I am supposed to be. I can’t let the anxiety of losing something or not gaining something take over my life anymore. I have gone through too many losses to keep learning the same lesson repeatedly. My lesson may not be the same as yours, which is okay. We are all on different journeys. i could not care less what other people do it is only my observation.
I am not growing slower for realizing it now, you are not growing faster by reading it. I am here to be here and have always been an oversharer.
