I have always struggled with calling myself artistic or an artist. 
I realize I have never stuck to one thing. I am constantly looking for the next phase and better.
I am obsessed with growth, though I never put in more time.
I never sit and realize what I like doing, just how I can improve.  I preach self-love, but don’t appreciate myself for the skills and things I feel connected to.
Or lose myself trying to find the next big thing. I always had to have a reason or an experience with it. 
Feeling like this has made me lose myself a lot of times over the years.
Something zaps in my brain, and I am already off doing the next. Not sticking around to see how any of it has affected me.
I moved through life rapidly, next, next, next.
I summed up my learning experiences after a week of moving, and moved on.
I have never felt like something was truly ‘mine’ due to how fast I can leave it. Hobbies, jobs, relationships.
Everything can get zapped for me.
It is the aftermath that I sit in months down the line.
When everything hits or reminiscence starts once more.
I can reminisce about the art projects I made for my mom,
“Oh, that was so long ago, I am not good at art.”,
the poetry competitions I would win,
“I was so young! I could never do something like that again.”
I used to sing in front of crowds, “That couldn’t be me ever again, I smoke more than my grandpa.” 
I learned that my hobbies will always be there for me: a camera, a paintbrush, a laptop, or pen and paper.
I don’t have to be amazing at these things and don’t need to make money off them.
I can simply be with them; if people enjoy them, they enjoy them! Even if they don’t, I am an artistic person. I don’t have to prove that to anyone. I made art; I am artistic. 
I crave days when I can sit at home and write.
I crave days when I can be in my thoughts to get them down.
I love feeling and doing it the way I have loved most.
When I am down, I have to remind myself I am creative, that’s one of the only truly healthy ways I can get it out anymore.
You are creative and artistic if you like it.
Not if you like what you made, not if Joe-Smoe from across the hall likes it, not if you feel forced. 
Making something you can read or touch from only a feeling is incredible.
Intoxicating, even, I always pity myself for forgetting how good it feels.